#13 - Honoring Your Parents’ Wishes
Reluctant Executor News
If you've talked to your parents about their end of life wishes, consider yourself ahead of most people. Some common conversations involve who should have specific knickknacks, location of their will (if they have one), and maybe funeral and service planning.
Today, there are more options besides the traditional casket and burial. But before making any decisions, make sure you know how important their religion is to them.
LinkedIn post from April 21, 2023
Six feet under, in a mausoleum, as ash... or as a pile of rocks?
Do you want to make this choice, or leave it up to your family?
A company that creates handheld stones from ashes, Parting Stone, recently appeared on Shark Tank.
75% of their business comes from funeral homes.
This likely means that a significant number of people do not have a plan in place for what their family should do with their remains. That decision is being made when the family is making funeral arrangements.
If it is important to you what happens to your remains, you should consider:
•Do you want to be surrounded by generations of ancestors?
•Should it be easy for descendants to visit?
•Do you want remains to be divided among family?
My parents bought space in a mausoleum over 40 years ago. Most of their family is buried at this cemetery. Their decision was easy: follow tradition.
For families that are spread out across the country, this decision isn't as easy. It's good to see more non-traditional options.
Like becoming a pile of rocks.
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LinkedIn post from June 14, 2024
Religion is frequently neglected when making end of life plans.
Seriously.
Maybe you grew up going to a service every week with your parents. Then you found your own path.
Now you either are not super religious or practice something different than your parents.
If you're in charge of their funeral, how much do you know about what their religion allows after a death?
Take the Catholic church. If you plan to cremate the body, they prefer that it is done after the service. They ask that the body be present in the church. If this can't be done, you'll have to get the local Bishop's permission to hold the service with the ashes.
After the service, you planned to scatter the ashes over your dad's favorite fishing spot on the lake.
Or maybe you and your siblings decided to use a company like Parting Stone to turn the ashes into a beautiful solidified remain.
If he was a devout Catholic, these options are forbidden. Cremated remains need to be buried or entombed. They cannot be scattered or remain in a home.
These types of details are often overlooked in a will. Or worse, your parents might not know what their faith allows, so how would you know?
If you don't know how to talk to your parents about these decisions, I can help.
Click here to comment or like this post on LinkedIn.
Legacy Planning
When you meet with Reluctant Executor to discuss your Legacy Plan, we mostly focus on the day-to-day tasks that will cause stress after a loss. But we also help fill in the blanks for any other area that is important to you, including religious and remains details.
If you or someone you know needs this type of support, contact me at Bill@ReluctantExecutor.com